Let's Reject Rejection - Like a Boss: Pt. 2

Hello everyone,

One word as to my disappearance. Assignments. Don't worry, this post is a treat!

With the graduate recruitment season slowing down and APS jobs being the final recourse for many 2013 graduate applicants it definitely can be disheartening. Continuous rejection can really get you down. If you haven't read my first (super popular) post about initially dealing with rejection give it a view here. Hopefully it provides a helpful start and I really do hope it has helped those who have already viewed it.

I have been fortunate to receive two offers over the last few weeks which was largely unexpected so do not give up hope! (I admit I had) I hope many of you find your place, it does take time but your time will come. I know it.  

I want this blog project to enlighten, inspire and assist you. I am happy to provide further gems from 'The Happiness Trap' by Russ Harris. This book has truly aided me during this time and I hope this installment (plus my annotations) does the same for you. Like the disclaimer in the first part, if you don't believe in this 'self help nonsense' feel free to vacate the InnovCloud for now! If you do have an open mind, read on!

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

This week I present a question based exercise from the book which I used to great effect (and still do!).


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Ask yourself: 


1. How would I act differently if painful thoughts and feelings were no longer an obstacle?


2. What projects or activities would I start (or continue) if my time and energy weren't consumed by troublesome emotions?


3. What would I do if fear were no longer an issue?


4. What would I attempt if thoughts of failure didn't deter me?


When you think about these questions, what troublesome thoughts and images appear? Do you visualise yourself getting hurt in some way? Does your mind tell you, "It's hopeless" or "It's too hard" or that you can't make these changes because you are too weak/inadequate/depressed/unlovable?


Write a list of these thoughts and once you've done it, set aside five minutes a day to practice defusing them. Practicing defusion is the key to success. Defusion is simply seeing thoughts for what they are - nothing more than words and pictures and by doing this they will have less influence over your life. 


In my next post about Rejecting Rejection Like a Boss I will go into defusion! But for now, engage with those questions and make your list. Look at your list and think how super silly you are letting meaningless text control your attitude, your emotions, your life. Take that list scrunch it up and BIN IT. When you feel those thoughts coming on again, rinse and repeat, LIST IT and BIN IT.


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Hopefully that helps you in some way because it definitely helped relieve me of negative thoughts (and sometimes I still do this, when those pesky assignments get me down!)

I hope everything works out for you. I may not know you, I may not ever see you but know that your perserverance and persistence is an inspiration to me. 

With that said, don't forget to bookmark, subscribe to the feed or tell a mate about my blog if you feel my experiences and thoughts can help you or them further.

Always Remember,

PipesCanDream

Let's Reject Rejection - Like a Boss

Hey there peeps,


We have all been here. Rejection. *cue dramatic music*


Though particularly relevant to the grad season, it is part of life, reinforcing your lack of belonging, your lack of self worth. There is nothing more demoralising and depressing than seeing one of these in your inbox:

"Your application has been given close consideration and was reviewed against the key criteria and the other applicants that applied.  We are writing to let you know that unfortunately we will not be progressing further with your application at this time." 

Is it worth being all beat up about it? I am a natural brooder, I over analyse and think about mistakes and things I've done, how could it equate to a rejection, what do they think of me? What can I do? Why did I do that? IT NEVER STOPS! 


All these doubts culminate into anxiety (will I get a job?), stress and, yes, I do get depressed (after the 10th rejection). Luckily, a gent who I worked with referred me to this great book which has helped me deal with overcoming these issues which go hand in hand with the graduate recruitment season. Check it.

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

Now, I know what you might say, "Jeez mate, not another one of these self help money grabbing books". But hear me out. This particular technique from the book has resounded with me. 


The core of the book is handling urges that get in the way of living a meaningful life. It's all about finding a balance. You can't make big, sweeping declarations that you will never have a self-defeating urge. Harris states that it's impossible (cause it most definitely is!). The principles which guide the book is ACT. So what is ACT?


A = Accept your thoughts and feelings
C = Connect with your values
T = Take effective action


Acceptance In a Nutshell


War- Always struggling to get rid of your unwanted thoughts and feelings. It can never be won and consumes time and energy. This was me right here!


Truce- Harris describes it as "Grudging Tolerance of thoughts and feelings". Better than War but it leaves you stuck and helpless. He likens it to resignation rather than acceptance.


Peace- True acceptance. Your country doesn't have to like the other country, approve of its existence, speak its language or convert to its religion. You simply make peace with them. It's the same when you truly accept your uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. You don't have to like them, approve of them, you simply make peace with them and let them be. This leaves you free to focus your energy on taking action - action that moves your life forward in a direction you value. 


I will drip feed you little gems from this book but I hope you can start to see where the idea is going. Connect with your idea of acceptance. Find your peace with your feelings, know they are there, but harness your energy in taking ACTION. Good luck guys! 


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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT PLEASE READ!

If this post or any of my other posts have helped or assisted you in anyway, SHARE THE LOVE! If you feel my words can help a friend, enrich someone else's blog or life, REFER IT ON! 


The more people that I can inspire, the more inspired I am to keep this going. So help me out! Link my blog, share it through Facebook and Twitter (these are coming soon!)


I know I have been getting a lot of referral traffic from Whirlpool due to my Oracle link being posted up (Hi Whirlpool members!) but if you can help the InnovCloud grow, lets take as many people on this journey as possible!

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Always Remember,
PipesCanDream